We Are Hama
Been thinking about this scene a lot lately. You know the one. An old and senile king has been corrupted by his handler into thinking that the best thing to ever enter his throne room, a man in white, poses an existential threat to him. They both thought the...
My Dog and My Gun
I mean, dogs can be very dangerous in the wrong hands. So why do dog owners have more rights than gun owners? I think we should bring the ownership laws of those two possessions into better alignment:...
Essentials of Fantasy
There aren’t any. Sure, there may be a pretty hefty list of really important books in the fantasy genre. Books like Starship Troopers, Lord of the Rings, and Harrison Bergeron should be on everybody’s reading list, but the genre is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big...
Solid Recommend: Blow the Man Down
Good news, everyone! Not everything sucks, and I’ve found a rare gem in this modern cinematic wasteland. Imagine if Fargo was set in a small New England fishing town, and it wasn’t completely retarded. Don’t let the “Amazon Original” tag fool you – this one is worth a watch....
My State < Your State
The Mayor of Honolulu noticed a real problem. The people had adapted to all of his intrusive and un-necessary restrictions on daily life in these days of Chinese SupaDupaAIDS. To make matters worse, those numbers did what he said they would if everyone adapted to his intrusive and un-necessary...
Hello, Not Helping Department?
We’ve got a call from the USPS on line one: That is roughly 100 million more ballots than there are eligible voters in these United States of America. If you’re delivering that many ballots in October and November, then we’ve got bigger issues than your delivering capactiy. This is...
Always an Alternative
No entertainment product is indispensable. There is always an alternative, even if it’s just reading bible stories around the living room. The powerborkers – spelling intentional – forgot that the artificial little tribes they built around jerseys and colors mean a lot less to the public than the organic...
You Get Nothing
We have to shut everything down because it’s all about staying healthy, you see. Which explains why you can’t host a running race on city streets, outside, with tons of spacing and in the bright antiseptic sunlight. Let me walk you through this one. Locally, the parks are open...
Circumspection And The OTHER You Know Who
Things are getting a little hot out there in internet land, and in the interests of self-preservation, I have adopted a policy of speaking circumspectly. If you read my last post, you’ll notice that it never directly references the ‘Vid Nineteen. Nor does this one. It doesn’t need to. ...
Shoving Corona Brand Toothpaste Back in the Tube
They’ll never let us go back to our normal lives. Not because of “the science” but because of the egos. The technocrats have too much invested in their own sense of self-worth to ever admit that they botched the entire Summer of CoronaChan. They can’t walk back any of...